challengeaccepted | One Spear

One Spear | Video

[Watch that's a cell phone? Easy. The video function? Now that's pretty cool.

Some redheaded girl with an eyepatch and her hair pulled way back into a ponytail comes into view; she doesn't bother to figure out who this actually calls; right now is a time for absolutely indignant screaming at whoever the hell will listen.]

Okay, first of all! Your cell phones suck!

[Undyne, your priorities.]

Second of all, who the hell is responsible for this?

[She gestures to all of herself before realizing that might just mean jack and squat; her next act is to set down the weird cell phone, pick up her Totodile, and show it to everyone.]

This girl here? She's adorable! She's scaly and blue and looks like the monster she should be. Good for you, kid! And who puts monsters in little red balls in the first place? What kind of sick individuals are you?

[But that's beyond the point, and she quickly sets her down.]

I like being blue and scaly, you know! It's a good look on me! So what gives?

[...Hello to you too, Undyne.]

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Salutations, ma'am! Welcome to Johto!

[That is way too cheerful a response for that broadcast.]

...Were you not human before?

Edited 2016-02-08 04:21 (UTC)

[Well, the person on the other end of this video feed is...probably a bit different than what Undyne remembers - namely, he's currently not a rectangle and currently also suffering from a mild case of unfortunate humanization over here. That said, even if the person isn't familiar, the voice certainly should be - a little less autotune, a little more "dear god I have vocal cords now?", but the general intonation is the same and the presentation is definitely the same, complete with the fact that he's smirking like an asshole and very enthusiastically clapping it out for a second before he speaks.]

Well, well - round of applause for the esteemed head of the Royal Guard - such a fantastic entrance, if a bit late! I was starting to wonder if you'd ever join us, it's not nice to keep your audience waiting.

[...that is literally as close to OH THANK GOD THE ADULT IS HERE as he's ever going to get.]

But you seem a bit unhappy, darling; not taking this place well?

[...oh no, you know what this sounds like? Someone from Mettaton's world. Actually, a fishlady is definitely a description he was given before, so that's exactly who this is, isn't it.

Naki normally doesn't greet people who show up here because he doesn't have time for that shit (more like he's not interested in dealing with the usual questions and hysterics that come with it) but here he is.

He's seated on some nice-looking couch in a nice-looking room, one leg crossed over the other and an Inkay in his lap. There are a few more in the frame sitting on the couch beside him and they're quietly chirping at one another as Naki talks.]

...Welcome to Johto. This sort of thing happens all the fucking time. Everyone's human when they show up here for some reason. So... get used to it, I guess.

[Despite the harsh words, his tone is actually not combative. He's... sort of trying. Kind of??]

As for the balls, uh... I honestly have no idea? I guess that's for transportation, since some of the big ones wouldn't really fit comfortably in most houses or stores.

[...BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, IT DOES SOUND A LOT LIKE JAIL, DOESN'T IT...]

A-Ah, it's true, this place is really mean to people who aren't already human, zura...

[It's a horrible, awful feeling and he can understand the yelling.]

We haven't figured out how to turn back yet, s-so it might be awhile until you get your scales back, zura...

[This is clearly the best thing to ever happen. Ever.] UNDYNE! UNDYNE, YOU'RE HERE!!!!!

[Blue. And...scaly. And...sounds like she's.........somewhere around..........New Bark Town.

unsettled breathing. come on ashley hold strong--]

Like... W-were you, um- wh-why were you blue and...scaly?

Excuse you, I'm not a sick individual! I wouldn't let such a cutie stay in that ball!

[She's pressing her Igglybuff to the screen so Undyne can have a better look. The Pokémon struggles for a bit, but eventually gives up and blinks at the image of the person on the other side Maybe not as scaly and blue as her Totodile, but just as adorable.]

...wait, what do you mean by I like being blue and scaly?

[ Blue and scaly... ]

Not too many people particularly enjoy having eczema, you know. If nothing else, you should be thankful it seems to have resolved itself. Good for you.

Sorry you lost your scales, I bet they looked really great.

You've probably already got the whole 'different planet, everything's weird, nobody knows' speech by now, so I won't bother telling you a bunch of shit you already know. But this place ain't too bad.

[Well this newbie is sure full of energy.]

Who knows how we get changed, it's annoying is what it is.

Personally, I think this place turns us all into humans so we don't upstage the local monsters.

[Not what he generally calls them, but she's already using the term, and it does apply.]

... Blue and scaly? Sounds like a fish. Are you some kinda fish faunus?

[Ruby oh my god you can't just ask people if they're a faunus...!]

You might want to ask you friend about the ball thing. Some like it, some don't it depends.

Blue and scaly though? You sounds like a friend of mine, except the reverse happened to her back home though.

Edited 2016-02-09 04:07 (UTC)

ok i hear you about the cell phones thing honestly i do
but let me tell you about one sweet ass function its got thatll make your nokia shit its battery all over in envy

[On the other end of the connection, we have a tall, young man with shoulder-length silver hair. About twenty-something now, and he can't help but chuckle at Undyne's reaction.]

You've probably already heard the gist of it. Different world, nonhumans turn humans, and we're supposed to go around capturing Pokémon and battling or breeding them.

It's just the way things work around here. Heck, the whole world seems to revolve around Pokémon, right down to their books and movies.

[Whoa, this girl seems intense! Hagakure's slightly intimidated by her...everything, but he feels a pressing need to respond to her post. Because...]

Are you saying you're a monster? D'you happen to be friends with Draculaura-chi?

[He's getting a little excited on behalf of Draculaura if it turns out to be true. More monster friends from home!

He's wrong of course, but you know...]

Sorry lady, everybody's human here. Nobody gets to be blue lizards anymore, except for the animals.

Me, I used to be a stegosaurus.

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