One Spear | Video

[challengeaccepted]

[Watch that's a cell phone? Easy. The video function? Now that's pretty cool.

Some redheaded girl with an eyepatch and her hair pulled way back into a ponytail comes into view; she doesn't bother to figure out who this actually calls; right now is a time for absolutely indignant screaming at whoever the hell will listen.]

Okay, first of all! Your cell phones suck!

[Undyne, your priorities.]

Second of all, who the hell is responsible for this?

[She gestures to all of herself before realizing that might just mean jack and squat; her next act is to set down the weird cell phone, pick up her Totodile, and show it to everyone.]

This girl here? She's adorable! She's scaly and blue and looks like the monster she should be. Good for you, kid! And who puts monsters in little red balls in the first place? What kind of sick individuals are you?

[But that's beyond the point, and she quickly sets her down.]

I like being blue and scaly, you know! It's a good look on me! So what gives?

[...Hello to you too, Undyne.]

Comments

[deaftly]

Well, the doors are built with people in mind, so no. But hey, don't blame me for that shit, I'm not from this world either.

[challengeaccepted]

[...Okay, fair point- oh hell no.]

Are you saying monsters aren't people?

[...Because the Pokémon are obviously monsters, and even if they weren't monsters, they're totally people-]

[deaftly]

Fuck no, I'm not saying that at all! I'm just saying that's the sort of stupid logic this place runs on. My Inkays are totally people, just like every other Pokémon.

[...except the ones he doesn't like, maybe.]

1/2

[challengeaccepted]

Then this place sucks!

[challengeaccepted]

Even if it's kinda nice being on the surface.

[No ceilings, lots of space...]

[deaftly]

[HE WAS RIGHT]

You're from the Underground too, aren't you?

1/2

[challengeaccepted]

Of course. All monsters live in the Underground.

This place is freaking weird, and I'm still not cool with this human thing, but seeing monsters walk around like this? It's...

[challengeaccepted]

NAAAAGHHH! IT FILLS ME WITH POWER!

[She pumps a fist into the air. Her Totodile leaps along with it.]

This place is full of human souls! It's a stepping stone to everyone's freedom! Soon, everyone will be able to live like this!

[The Totodile is still happily jumping along...]

[deaftly]

[

WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE AND BEING LESS SUBTLE THAN HE IS

alright just give him a moment to lock the feed down--]

Okay, okay, look, don't say that kind of shit around most people! A lot of people here are normally human and they'd probably assume you want to kill them to harvest their soul.

[challengeaccepted]

That's exactly what I want to do!

[Undyne don't care. Undyne don't give a shit.]

[deaftly]

[HIS HEAD IS IN HIS HANDS

CONGRATULATIONS, UNDYNE, YOU'VE SUCCESSFULLY DRIVEN NAKI TO FEEL EMBARRASSED ON YOUR BEHALF

THIS IS A VERY NEW CONCEPT FOR HIM]

Oh my fucking god. Look, I don't give a shit if you want to kill a human. I don't give a shit if you want to kill all the humans. Just... try not to make things more difficult for yourself?

[And you know. Your robot buddy from the same world.]

[challengeaccepted]

What? You think I care about playing nice with the humans?

[...]

...Actually, I might care a little about that. Not all humans are bad.

[Just most of them. The vast majority.]

But still! What difference is it going to make to be a little more subtle?

[She is so not here for subtle. Or caring about Mettaton. That's absolutely not in her job description.]

[deaftly]

Do you want to be thrown in jail? If they think you're dangerous and you're gonna kill everyone, that's what they'll do.

[...Probably? Actually he has no idea. But. Jail is bad. Verrrrry bad.]

[challengeaccepted]

[...That's right, she's not in charge anymore.

...

And she can't start a war without an army.]

I'll figure it out.

[This might take more foresight than originally planned, and it's not like that hunk of metal's going to help.]

[deaftly]

[Okay, alright, he can work with that. Naki settles a bit against the couch.]

You don't have to tell me anything about what's going on where you're from or why you want to kill humans, but you're really fucking lucky you're talking to me and not someone else. I fucking hate the cops so your secret's safe with me.

[..."secret".]

Anyway, I'm Naki. Have you talked to anyone else here about the rest of the bullshit this place springs on you?

[He means the whole "you're stuck here" thing and "oh yeah, the music never stops".]

[challengeaccepted]

["Secret." She's ready to blurt out the (abridged) story of her people, but then Naki says something more important.]

There's more?

[That would be a no on the bullshit this place springs on you.]

[deaftly]

Fuck, where do I begin...

[SIIIIGH]

Alright, so, your little uh, gator-guy. Girl? They're a Pokémon. This world is totally obsessed with them, but like you pointed out, they're treated like pets, not people. I mean, they're treated well for the most part, but still...

[And that's going to be fucking with his head for awhile, thanks.]

Anyway, you're either a trainer or a breeder, but don't worry about that shit 'cause it's not important. I mean, unless you want to travel the region and help your Pokémon beat up other peoples' Pokémon.

[He says, like this is some sort of terrible thing. The traveling is the terrible part.]

[challengeaccepted]

[...Help her Pokémon what now?]

Well, that's up to you, kid.

[The Totodile was playing with her tail, but she stops to point at Undyne.]

No, no, it's up to you.

[...This is going to continue for a while.]

[deaftly]

...Oh, I guess I should mention that the Pokémon themselves look to uh... humans, or um... people who have been turned human here. They prefer to get directions from us and most of them don't really like battling on their own. So... I guess that's why some people are "trainers".

[Dear god he's trying, but he's not subtle either.]

[challengeaccepted]

[...Oh. Ooooh.]

You just need someone to teach you to fight, kid? No problem! I'll train you like I trained the Royal Guard!

[...Crisis... Averted...?]

[deaftly]

[You know what, close enough!!]

So uh, you're gonna have to travel to the next town. I don't think it's that far away? But it's been awhile since I was last there.

[LIES, he started in Goldenrod and NEVER LEFT.]

[challengeaccepted]

What's in the next town?

[Not that far? No problem. ...May actually be a problem, fish lady has no concept of proper distance because the underground wasn't exactly large.]

[deaftly]

Not much, honestly. Violet's the next big town, but even that's got nothing on Goldenrod.

[Prrrrobably??]

Goldenrod's the biggest one in this region. I don't know shit about Kanto, so they might have a bigger city there.