challengeaccepted | One Spear

[Watch that's a cell phone? Easy. The video function? Now that's pretty cool.

Some redheaded girl with an eyepatch and her hair pulled way back into a ponytail comes into view; she doesn't bother to figure out who this actually calls; right now is a time for absolutely indignant screaming at whoever the hell will listen.]

Okay, first of all! Your cell phones suck!

[Undyne, your priorities.]

Second of all, who the hell is responsible for this?

[She gestures to all of herself before realizing that might just mean jack and squat; her next act is to set down the weird cell phone, pick up her Totodile, and show it to everyone.]

This girl here? She's adorable! She's scaly and blue and looks like the monster she should be. Good for you, kid! And who puts monsters in little red balls in the first place? What kind of sick individuals are you?

[But that's beyond the point, and she quickly sets her down.]

I like being blue and scaly, you know! It's a good look on me! So what gives?

[...Hello to you too, Undyne.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're the first person that's called a war wholesale slaughter to me before! And you know what? It could be. We could all get up and out of the barrier, and get slaughtered in an instant.

I'd rather be ready for anything. I'd rather train up the members of the Royal Guard and make sure they're ready for any conflict we're going to run into up there. I'd rather not see my friends get killed.

Not all of the humans can be like that human.

[...So why does she feel a little bad, giving this speech?]

Unless you're suggesting we all stay in the barrier.

Believe me, Undyne, I have no intention of staying in the barrier.

[...Well, that's a case of exact wording if one ever existed.]

Good! Then what's the problem?

[...Undyne, you've got a big storm coming.]

Given that I just called your vile little war a wholesale slaughter - as you so kindly repeated earlier! - I'd think it's obvious.

[...]

Do you think there's glory in it? In going out there to kill them all?

I think there's justice! There's freedom! There's security for our people.

[What the hell is your damage with the killing humans thing-]

You're going t-

[...You know what? No. No, he's not getting any more invested in this than he already has been today, he's just going to take a second and go back to being as detached as he usually is from all of this, let's not deal with this today, it doesn't matter here- ]

Touch any of the humans here and I'll kill you.

[...well okay then.]

They aren't part of your justice. They haven't done anything to us. Touch them and I'm going to ensure that you'll die. A lot.

Well now, that sounds like a challenge.

[Her grin is wide. Sadly, it's not full of sharp teeth, but it will have to do.]

Maybe I will, maybe I won't. But tell me, if you kill me, are you going to put that up on TV too?

Unfortunately, the public's taste here trends less toward bloodshed.

But for something like that? I'll gladly interrupt the daily broadcasts to bring them something special.

You just care about humans, don't you? More than your own people!

[She had a reason to dislike this guy.]

[And that actually gets him to flinch. Sharply.]

What? I-I...

[The falter is obvious; he's not recovering very well and he sort of hates it, but he'll work through it.]

Well... You're just proving that you care more about murdering humans than you do about justice, right? Get real. You're no better than I am.

[Was that a little- no, that was exactly what he was implying, and exactly what he deserved to hear.]

Look, I'm not saying I'm going to run around killing humans for whatever reason. I'm not your shows.

[Thanks, Undyne.]

We need one more soul to break the barrier, don't we? So what's stopping us from taking one nasty guy's soul and freeing everyone with it, yourself included? How much waiting would we save everyone?

[oh my godddddd he is going to hit you with a chair the first time he sees you in person- ]

I have no desire to kill humans, darling. That's all there is to it.

[...That said, he gets what she's saying; he does. That doesn't mean he has to like it any.]

If King Asgore defeats the human and breaks the barrier... Well, that's where our story takes us. You can have your war, but I'm not taking part in it if it can be helped, built-in combat abilities or not.

[...]

Besides, the world needs stars more than it needs corpses.

[Please hit her first, then she doesn't have to feel bad when she beats the sparkles out of you-]

Call it what you want, but it sounds like you're a coward.

[The world needs stars more than it needs corpses? Is that his fancy way of saying he's looking out for himself?]

But that's alright. You couldn't pay me with all the petals in the underground to let you join the Royal Guard, no matter how good at combat you are.

[And you know what, he actually laughs at that; it's another one of those things where that's...probably not quite the reaction she was trying for, here, but it's the one she's getting.]

Could you get any more boring? Your lines are so predictable that I could recite them for you before you even open your mouth.

I fight for what's important to me, Undyne. Believe what you want about what that might be, I'm not going to feed you any cues.

[Oh you edgy little-]

And what's important to you besides your dumb shiny face and your viewer count?

As you so charmingly said earlier -

"It's personal, nerd, butt out."

...You know what?

Gladly.

[You sure did just get hung up on, Mettaton.

...

You can practically hear the "take that!!" that would follow.]

[GOOD you hung up first

that totally means he wins]

One Spear | Video

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